Halloween Jokes & Free Clip Art

Boo fun!

What animal is best at hitting a ball?

A bat.


Bob: What do mummies like listening to?

Sally: I don’t know.

Bob: Wrap music!


Did I tell you that I joined Dracula's fang club?


What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No eye deer.

What do you call a pig with no eyes?


What do you call a spider with 100 eyes?

A spider.


What has 4 legs and says boo?

A cow with a cold.


What kind of roads do ghosts like the best?

Dead ends.


Did you hear that the ghost got a ticket?

He didn't have a haunting license.


Why did the skeleton cross the road?

To show his girlfriend he had guts.


This little boy went to see his doctor after eating lots of chocolate frogs on Halloween..

“Doctor, I think I’m turning into a frog,” he said.

“So what’s the big deal?” asked the doctor.

“I’m afraid… I don’t want to croak!”


Why was the Egyptian girl sad?

Because her daddy was a mummy!


What does a witch take for lunch on the beach?

A sand-witch.


Did you hear that everyone booooooed during the ghost movie.


On Halloween a doctor and a nurse were called to the scene of an accident.

     Doctor: We need to get these people to a hospital now!

     Nurse: What is it?

     Doctor: It's a big building with a lot of doctors, but that's not important now!


Vampires have bat breath.


I've hired a ghostwriter to write my Halloween book.


Vampires always brush after eating Halloween candy.


They don't want tooth decay.


Why did Dracula take cold medicine?

To stop his coffin.


happy halloween witch pumpkin

Let's go fishing for some juicy children

Ethan’s first college Halloween - A true story

My then 21 year old son, Ethan, was a new house renter. It was his first Halloween in an off campus house, so the day before Halloween he went off to purchase some candy for the trick or treaters. Being college student poor, he decided to only pick up two big bags of Jujubes figuring that if there was any left he would have leftover candy he liked.

When he got home from the store, Ethan and his roommates ate one bag of candy. The next day, with the help of more friends, they ate most of the second bag, leaving only nine fun boxes of Jujubes for the trick or treaters.

The door bell rang and there were seven little ghosts and goblins. Feeling panicked,  Ethan ran out of the house and up the street to the closest store. He returned with ten big bags of assorted Halloween candy.

Not another trick or treater came by all night long.

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